Addiction Relapse Support For a Loved One

The process of coping with a loved one’s addiction relapse and supporting them can be emotionally draining and overwhelming.
You’ve watched them take that difficult journey from admitting they have a problem through undertaking a rehabilitation program, to going sober, and now you’ve witnessed that progress falter.

This can be enormously disappointing and lead to difficult feelings of:

• Frustration, with the loss of progress.
• Anger, with the loved one for succumbing.
• Shame, with the added stigma of failure.
• Guilt, for one’s own part in the struggle.
• Worry, that the loved one will not recover.
• Fear, that the relationship may fail.

However, it’s essential to realize that a relapse isn’t necessarily the end of the road. In fact, relapse is prevalent for those battling to recover from a substance misuse or alcohol addiction problem. Let’s look at some of the facts and figures, then consider some practical steps you can take to help your family member or friend cope and recover.

The Truth about Relapse

Various studies put the relapse rates of recovering addicts at around 40% to 60%. Relapse is a common hurdle on the road to recovery, but defining it can be difficult. While some sufferers are striving for total abstinence as an indicator of success, this goal may prove too ambitious and lead to feelings of inadequacy or failure along the way.

Relapse can occur for several reasons, including:

• A failure to “hit rock bottom” and recognize the severity of the problem.
• Chronic physical dependency which proves hard to shake.
• Inadequate preparation for a transition from rehab to regular home life.
• A continuation of the contributing factors which led to substance abuse.
• A return to the same social group, who may have “enabled” the abuse.
• Ambivalence to the value of a sober life following recovery.
• Unrealistic expectations of how good life will be after rehabilitation.

Importantly, if any concomitant mental health difficulties such as stress, anxiety, or depression are left untreated after in-patient rehabilitation is complete, then relapse is likely.

Dos and Don’ts for Loved Ones

There are plenty of ways you can support your loved one as they work on their post-rehab recovery. Here are some key dos and don’ts:

DO:

• Encourage talking therapies and support group attendance.
• Avoid situations causing stress or anxiety.
• Avoid social settings where drinking or drug use is prevalent.
• Join your loved one in healthy pursuits – sports and exercise, especially.
• Get out and about in the great outdoors. It works wonders.
• Consider arranging your own mental health support. There are groups helping friends and partners of addicts.
• Eat nutritional food and ensure you both get sufficient sleep.
• Try relaxation therapies including yoga, meditation, or aromatherapy.
• Socialize in a non-alcoholic setting.

DON’T:

• Be quick to blame, shame, or scold your loved one.
• Deliver ultimatums or threaten to withdraw support (unless your own safety requires it).
• Take your loved one into the social settings that may have triggered a relapse.
• Blame yourself for a failure to adhere to sobriety.
• Catastrophize – in most cases, a relapse is just a blip on the road to recovery.
• Go it alone – instead, get support from addiction professionals, books, websites, and other sources of knowledge.

The Journey Back to Recovery Addiction Relapse Support

Begin by reassuring your significant other that their relapse is not the end of the world. Although disappointing, a relapse is far from uncommon or unlikely, and there are established medical pathways for dealing with such scenarios.

However, don’t assume that a single relapse incident will be followed by another period of sobriety. Unfortunately, addicts’ physical and psychological dependencies can lead them to be untruthful when reporting their own behaviors and temptations.

Instead, contact your doctor, or an addiction specialist, with your loved one’s knowledge and agreement, and arrange a consultation to talk through what has happened. It is important to find out what triggered the relapse and find ways to mitigate any mental health problems.
 
The addiction specialist may recommend outpatient treatment, support groups or resources, or another period of in-patient rehabilitation. Listen with an open mind to the options at your disposal and talk through the benefits of each.

It’s crucial to look after yourself and care for your loved one. You won’t be able to support them if you are sleep-deprived, anxious, or exhausted. You still must maintain boundaries and make it clear that you won’t tolerate your loved one not addressing their problem.
The good news is that relapse isn’t necessarily a calamity. Many addicts who have relapsed eventually attain full recovery.

Visit our section, for more resources to assist you with addiction relapse support.